so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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