Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
