a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
