I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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