The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
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