She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
