i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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