Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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