Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
