so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
