just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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