Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
