I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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