Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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