In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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