Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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