I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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