Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
