oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
