He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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