Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
