shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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