If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.