Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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