North Korea, Best Korea!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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