Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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