Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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