and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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