Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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