it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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