Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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