Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
