The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
