Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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