i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
