I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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