Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
