thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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