my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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