Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
