someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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