Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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