I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
People in love make me want to vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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