I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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