I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize