so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
