I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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