Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
