So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
