CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
