so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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