I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Who died my cat blue again?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
