therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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