i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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