Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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