My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
