you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
