Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
