Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
