it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
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Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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