She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
