I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
