Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
